Chapter 10: RAGE FACE

6 Jul

Let’s start this chapter out on a pleasant note shall we? Cause it’s not going to last long.


Here’s their beautifully decorated home, with a ridiculously expensive toilet that I bought because supposedly it’s “unbreakable”.Screenshot-40

Stupid stupid thing.

Bill:”I’m not fixing it.”

Well let’s go to work then, lord knows those cases aren’t going to solve themselves.Screenshot-10

First stop: A castle. You’d think they could afford someone a little more experienced…Screenshot-11

Oh. Bill’s been hired by a child. To find her toothbrush.

Little girl that’s obviously a princess since she lives in a castle: “Well you see it was flown in from Moonlight Falls, it has fairy dust in the bristles…”

HAHAHA just kidding Bill the game decided the case was unsolvable. Well Bill still needs someone to make babies with so let’s go to a fancy resort so you can find a rich lady we can trick into this hell hole. I mean lovely household.Screenshot-13

And that’s where we find this pretty lady:


Bill: “My mom’s a famous acrobat, maybe you’ve heard of her. Starship Banana Stand?”

Hinni:” HAHAHAHA! Oh! You’re serious. No.”

Speaking of our lovely legacy founder, let’s see what she’s doing.



“C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me
C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me
C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me
Oh, cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C”


Alaina: “Oopsy!”

Bill: “MOM! I’m hungry!

aaaargh -1


Bill: “Yum! I love cookies!”

Alaina: “My muscles need nutrients, why did I only make one cookie?”


Alaina: “Oh well! I’ll make some more I suppose. C is for cookie…”

The next morning it’s time for…Screenshot-9

GRADUATION! Wait what? You guys have lived here for like 2 days already.

Bill:”They just got my transcripts. It was delivered by mermaid.”

Well where’s Alaina then?Screenshot-8

Really? Come on! Honestly Alaina is kind of a failure of a mother, and her and Bill have a pretty horrible relationship, considering how much she doted on him as a child. Bill is constantly berating his mother for not being properly dressed.


Bill: “Honestly Mother? SWEATPANTS!?!”

Says the man wearing a snake skin speedo.

Since Alaina can no longer perform as an acrobat, and she needs to work on her parenting skills, I made the executive decision that she should become a teacher! Screenshot-20

Alaina: “Listen up kids! I’m the teacher, so you have to give me all your cookies. That’s right! Open up those lunch bags!”

Oh this was definitely a good choice.Screenshot-34

As you can tell from her face, she hates her job. Don’t worry! it’ll get better! Probably!

While Alaina’s at work, Bill’s getting ready for his date.


Oh. It’s genetic. Figures.Screenshot-24

COME ON! Hinni’s preggos. And it’s not Bill’s. DAMN. Well who wants someone who’s dressed completely in beige anyways. On to the next! Luckily, Bill has a profile on Desperate Legacy Sims, the dating website, where he meets this chick, Gabrielle Arias.


Gabrielle: “I had a few drinks before I came to meet you in the cemetery. I was sooooo nervous *giggle*”

Bill: “Midriff”

Well Bill’s smitten. Hurry and seduce her before story progression can marry her off and impregnate her too. Screenshot-27

Gabrielle: “Ya I have a boyfriend. He’s bald like you too!”

Hurry Bill! Make your move! She’s into baldies and you know your evil trait will love stealing someones girlfriend.Screenshot-29



Alright! I’m promised Bill that I’d get him a girlfriend before I moved them out of this neighborhood. I really want to finish this legacy without breaking something so they HAVE to move. I sent Bill to go pick up Rietta then we’re off to a new hood!Screenshot-39

Bill: I’m pretty sure this was the house…”

Rietta: “Maybe he won’t be able to see me in these bushes, and I can stay on this island paradise forever.”

NOPE! You’re coming with us!



Births: +2

Bladder Failure: -4

Pass out: -4

Completed lifetime wish:+5

Total Points: -2

Chapter 9: Bye Bye Starlight Shores!

5 Jul

Let’s do this!

Last chapter Rietta grew up, so it’s time for graduation!Screenshot-154

Rietta: “Hooray! Now I can sit on the couch all day!”

And what happens after graduation? A graduation party of course! Or your mom’s acrobat performance at a bar. But like many events that sims are forced to attend, graduation takes its toll.


Bill: “If I maintain eye contact maybe no one will notice the puddle of pee under me. *stares at pigtails*”

Sigh -1. Come on Bill! You just won the heir vote! You can do better than this!


Starship Banana Stand AKA Alaina: “This contortion is dedicated to my daughter Rietta, that yellow chick over there in the graduation robes!”


I’m not sure drinking is going to make this any better for you.

After that exciting adventure, everyone headed home.Screenshot-168

This is why you have to move out when you guys move to Isla Paradiso. -1

This is where I stopped playing the last time. So yesterday, when I was all excited to open my game and start playing again, I immediately saw this :Screenshot-160

Oh geez. WHY DID I COME BACK? -1Screenshot-169

Oh right. Cause this stuff it hilarious. Alaina is getting ready for her last performance as a controllable sim. I remember (barely) when Alaina couldn’t even book a park job. Now she’s performing in fancy places like this:Screenshot-171


She made 2000 simoleons doing this. 2000!  For two hours of work! Crazy. Needless to say they are loaded. And just in time for Bill’s birthday!




Uh Bill. You’re bald.


Rietta: “HA!”

Alaina: “What are you laughing at.”

Maybe it was the stress of growing up with a mother that was constantly naked. But now that Bill has grown up, they can move! Let me just pack up all the stuff they want to take with them…Screenshot-179

Javed:”Nah I’m not ready to move yet.”

AGGGHHHH. Javed you suck giant balls. You make everything so much harder!

Javed:”I’m going to haunt something else you want to take in the move.”

I’m going to leave you here.

And now it’s time to say goodbye to the Starlight Shores trailer.Screenshot-181

And hello to their new trailer!


Just because they’re rich doesn’t mean they get a super nice house. I don’t want to overwhelm them. And I needed to buy this:


Bill:”My dreams have come true!”

That’s right, Bill had a super sweet boat to solve all of his detective cases with.  Bill is now a heat loving, ambitious, evil, perceptive and proper detective, and has to solve 35 cases to reach his lifetime wish. We better get started! But first it’s time to say bye bye to Rietta.


And now to City Hall!Screenshot-185

Isla Paradiso is huge and laggy as shit, but the buildings are cool.


And here he is! Ready for his first case.

Bill: “No. Something doesn’t feel right.”Screenshot-187

Bill:”OK. Let’s do this.”

Yes, as a proper sim Bill is constantly changing into his formal wear. I’m just happy he has clothes on.

Meanwhile, back at the house, this is all Alaina is doing.Screenshot-188

Alaina: “Oh golly it’s hot here. I should take off my clothes.”

Seriously. The whole time Bill was getting a case Alaina stood inside the house fanning herself off. I don’t think she’s used to taking care of herself. Not that she did when I could control her either.



Births: +2

Bladder Failure: -3

Pass Out: -4

Completed lifetime wish:+5

Total Points: -1

P.S. You may have noticed that I added completed lifetime wish to the points. I figure I need something that can help me get out of the negatives, and reaching that goal is pretty hard, so I get 5 points if it’s completed. Otherwise I’d be at -6 right now and the way things are going, every generation would have to have like 10 children to come out positive.

Chapter 8: Reunited!

4 Jul

 Welcome back! it’s been… oh let’s not talk about it, it doesn’t matter now! I’ve got the whole summer to sim away. Let’s go back and check on the Tobias’s!!!


“Reunited and it feels so gooood, reunited cause we understooood”

Good to see we haven’t missed anything exciting. Since it has been so long, I reread the previous posts for a little refresher. Then decided “Fuck it, let’s do this!” and opened up the game. I’ll just say I was a little surprised when I saw their little family thumbnail, and their little family. But before we get to that it’s time for a photo montage of all the pics I took before.


Stolen goods


Costume Parties


New Gnome!


Abductions! Geez this chapter would be so much cooler if I could actually remembered what happened. Oh well! Last but definitely not least…


You may notice how excited I was about this event by how many pictures I took of it. I feel a little bad (poor Rietta looks so sad) but really, good riddance. BYE BYE JAVED!!! BOOYAH!


So this was what confused me when I opened the game, because I didn’t remember Javed dying. So I searched through everyones inventories looking for a grave, and even sent Alaina to the mausoleum to look for the grave. Screenshot-178

Javed just fucking with me ONE MORE time. It was in the bedroom the whole time. Look at the tiny thing! Pitiful. Anwho, everyone was very very sad, and dealt with their sadness in different ways.


Alaina lit off some fireworks.


Bill sang away his sadness, and Rietta tried to get over her daddy issues by doing something interesting. That’s right, Rietta, the loner, is apparently the hottest chick at the high school cause she was going on dates like it was going out of style.

Date #1


“Nice…. hair?”


Dude: “I’m tired you can go home”

Rietta: “Fine. Your house gets way worse reception than ours anyways.”

Date #2


Ya Rietta, talk about your brother. That’s a real turn on.


Well you both fail since you planned a date at the consignment store. When it was closed. At least he brought her flowers?


Dang it Rietta! -1.

Date #3

The day started out normal, with a nice evening at the Fall Festival when Rietta gets a call after the pie eating contest.Screenshot-108

“Suuure. I’ll meet you at City Hall”


Um. Is this legal?

Rietta: “Apparently someone had a birthday.. *wink wink*”

Oh gross.


Whoopsy! It’s probably for the best.

Dude: “Whelp gotta go!”


Cop: ” What the hell is on your face?”

Reitta: “Don’t ask.”


Starship Banana Stand AKA Alaina: “What kind of idiot are you dating anyways?!? Who invites their underage date to city hall? There are plenty of creepy trailers and parks in this town!”

I can’t believe that Rietta finally got her booty off the couch AFTER the heir poll was finished. Because, without further ado, it’s time to announce the winner!!! TADAAAA!


It’s Bill!

(I can’t remember how many votes he had, but I do remember that he won. My bad.)


Birthday time! And no, Alaina did not suddenly gain 100 pounds. I have no idea who that blond guy is.


And there is! Rietta rolled mean-spirited to round out her lovely traits of couch potato, loner, klepto, aaaand something else. Alaina had a wish for her daughter to become an athlete, so off to the stadium she went. Poor couch potato, Alaina really never seemed to like her very much. Actually Alaina has really horrible relationships with both of her children (see the person person minus above).

Next time: Bill grows up, and they get the hell out of Starlight Shores! To an equally laggy neighborhood 😦



Births: +2

Bladder Failure: -2

Pass Out: -2

Total Points: -4

Chapter 7: Afternoon Delight & Gen 2 Heir Poll!

22 Jun

Aaannd… we’re back! Last time Alaina turned into a banana, Javed lost me two points, Rietta grew up absent-minded and Bill saw his mother naked!  I’m going to start off this update with something old and something new-


The old- naked jokes about Alaina.

The new- a karaoke machine!

Alaina and Bill: “Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight 

 Gonna grab some afternoon delight

Sky rockets in flight, Afternoon delight…”

Apart from the inappropriate song and wardrobe coices, Bill loves the karaoke machine.


Bill: ” Rubbin’ sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite and the thought of rubbin’ you is getting so excting.”

I think it’s time to find a new song to sing.


Bill: “Heh heh heh. My evil plan of seducing the readers will never fail!”

Stop that Bill. It’s creepy. This is the first time I have caught Bill cackling evilly, and he’s almost a teen.  It’s like he has to try to be evil.

In other news-


Javed had a birthday! I don’t think his nose has ever stopped growing.


And Alaina grows up in her birthday suit! I think this may be the only time her birthday suit has been an appropriate outfit choice.

Javed: “Toot toooot! (Into Alaina’s boobs)”

Rietta: “Can you guys move? You’re blocking the tv.”


This is Alaina’s new everyday outfit for her birthday.  Because of her insane trait, she prefers to wear it to bed.


God dammit Alaina! I can control you! Why didn’t you go to the bathroom?!?

Alaina: “Because you didn’t tell me to?”

ARRGH. -1.  I’m a failure.


And apparently I couldn’t be bothered to buy anyone a cake either.


He rolled ambitious.

Bill: “Here I am, ready to take on the legacy.”

Not so fast buddy.  Your sister may be too busy watching tv to do anything interesting, but that doesn’t mean you’ve won anything yet!


Bill: “Pleeease.”

Oh geez louise, it’s not up to me!

That’s right folks! It’s up to YOU to decide who the new heir of the Tobias Legacy will be! Will it be-


Rietta: Kleptomaniac, absent-minded, couch potato, loner.

Rietta likes to watch tv all by herself, and occasionally steal things from school. The coolest thing about her is that she has the rainbow skin tone.



Bill: Evil, ambitous, loves the heat, perceptive.

Bill enjoys karaoke, being creepy, and pretending not to be evil.  Even though we all know he’s planning something.

So there it is, generation one is coming to an end.  Please vote in the comments! You can vote until the 25th, cause I’m definitely gonna get the new expansion pack, and I’m movin’ these fools to a boat! Better hope the new heir/heiress doesn’t roll hydrophobic!



Births: +2

Bladder Failure: -2

Pass Out: -1

Total Points: -3 

The new generation better get ready to give me some points!


Chapter 6: I Believe in Bananas

11 Jun

Welcome back! The previous post Bill grew up evil, the house was updated, Javed got off the couch, Alaina worked a lot, and you got to see Rietta’s face! Wow, what an exciting update.

We’ll start off this update with Javed continuing to be useless.


Ugh. Bladder failure, then after this picture was taken, he passed out in his own puddle of pee. -2. ARGH. Javed, if I could control you, I would make you to fix a dishwasher with no handiness skills in a puddle of water, so you could get electrocuted.  AND GET OUT OF THIS LEGACY.  You’re lucky Alaina still likes you.

Last post Alaina didn’t get much screen time, cause all she does is work.  And despite the fact that she has the natural born performer trait, she sucks at being an acrobat.  She couldn’t fire up a torch without lighting her butt on fire to save her life.

So, to put a little spring in her step, I made her a new outfit for performing!



Starship Banana Stand: “What up Starlight Shores? Get ready to see the the greatest performance by a banana you’ve ever seen!”

Oh dear.  She actually thinks she’s a banana.


But really, can you blame her? This was as close to a banana as I could get with CAS, and I think it is glorious.  And so does Alaina.  She has no fear in that banana suit.


And obviously, the crowd loved it! She now has a steady gig at Rodeo-Go-Go.  Can’t think of a better place for her Starship Banana themed show:


Please notice how well the cannons fit in with the rest of the stage decorations.

When Alaina isn’t working she has started going around the house naked. All the time.



Alaina: “Bye Bill! Have a nice day at school!”



It never stops.  Well that’s enough of Alaina being naked, on to Rietta’s birthday!


Make a wish!

Rietta: “I wish my mom would start wearing clothes around the house.”

Good call.


Uh, lookin a little preggo there Rietta.  To the dresser!


And she rolled absent minded.  That is probably the worst trait for an ISBI.  Sims are bad enough at taking care of themselves (JAVED.) without forgetting what they’re doing half the time. Sigh.  I’m already in the negatives….

Bladder Failure: -2


Passed Out: -1

Births: +2

Total Points: -2

Chapter 5: Couch Lovers

10 Jun

Last time in the Tobias household, Alaina was obsessed with baby Bill, Javed was lazy, Bill was given lots of love and affection, and Rietta was ignored 😦  After rereading the last post to figure out what the heck I was gonna write about, I realized that I never let everyone know Rietta’s new trait- KLEPTO!!! It must run in the family.  Here is our newly aged up thief.



Rietta: “Seriously.  Are we going through this again? LET THEM SEE MY FACE.”

Yeesh. Am I detecting a hidden hot-headed trait?

Rietta: “Don’t push me.”



HAHAHA. I don’t think I have any pictures of Rietta’s face until she’s aging up to a teen.  Obviously I was not impressed with her face.

This, by the way, is all Rietta does with her free time.  Watch tv.  The couch potato trait is strong with this one.  She probably gets her laziness from her father, who still spends most of his day reading in various comfy spots.





At least he has started going to work.

Alaina has continued to roll more wants for Bill than anything else, and even manages to teach him how to talk.  Toddler skilling is something I only do if someone rolls a want for it, cause it takes so stinkin long.

After being cute for three days, it’s time for Bill to age up!



Please ignore all the dirty plates and Alaina’s horrible acrobat outfit.




And he aged up… Evil! Exciting traits this update! I wonder how Alaina will be react to her precious baby Bill becoming evil?



Maybe it should have been more obvious.

Bill immediately does many evil, horrible things.



Like doing the dishes.



Going to bed without a bedtime story.



Doing his homework.



And being nice to his sister. Seriously. Not one evil cackle. Hmmm.  He’s obviously planning something.  

You may have noticed, or not, that there has been some new additions to the house! I totally forgot that Alaina and Javed received some wedding presents a long long time ago.  They got a few pretty expensive presents though, so I kept the most expensive one, cause selling all of them felt like cheating.



A bucking bronco! And looky there! Javed is doing something other than read!  Thank the good green plumbob.

So after the wedding present money, and the money that Alaina has been making performing her booty off-



Alaina: “Yep, still here, still wearing underwear in front of a crowd of people.  Luckily I have no shame.” (Yes, she is still walking around the house naked, just now it is all the time. Still funny.)

I was able to expand their trailer!



Well, I actually just made a little box inside the house for the kids room, and put all the living room stuff onto their new patio!  You can kinda see the outhouse I made them in the backyard.  I didn’t actually change the house size at all.  

But now they have a kitchen!



And surprise! There’s Rietta’s face!

Total Points: 0!


Chapter 4: Where’s Rietta?

3 Jun

It’s time for another Tobias Legacy post! During the last post the repo-man came, Alaina and Javed got married, Alaina stole patio furniture, and Rietta was born with yellow skin.



After instantly aging Rietta up, Alaina and Tobias start working on baby #2.



She’s a little funny looking, but still cute.

After getting impregnated for the second time, Alaina sets out to get some gigs.  There is no after-pregnancy leave for the acrobat career, and it’s a good thing too cause the Tobiases are super broke, especially since Javed still hasn’t gone to work.

Alaina was able to perform a gig before she popped, but unfortunately had a little trouble getting back into the swing of things.




The next day was Snowflake Day, and even though Javed still has not attended a single day of work, he gets a holiday bonus of $844.  Well I guess I can’t complain about him not going to work anymore, since that bonus is more than he would have made in the three days he skipped.

For the rest of Alaina’s pregnancy nothing happened, or nothing memorable since I can’t find the pictures anywhere… but I did write down that Alaina rolled absolutely no wants for Rietta.  It was like she didn’t even exist.  Poor baby banana.  

After the black hole of pictures that was Alaina’s pregnancy, Bill was born! I was too lazy to find a famous male acrobat to name him after, so I named him after Bill Clinton, since Javed is in the politician career track. 



Heeheehee. Alaina’s wonky rainbow skin tone strikes again! Who knew it could be so surprising?  Bill is perceptive and loves the heat.  After being born and aged up Alaina hasn’t stopped rolling wants for him.  





The only picture I have of Alaina holding Rietta, or anyone holding Rietta for that matter, is on her cake day.



Alaina: “Well, I guess holding her isn’t too bad.”

Well it’s too late now!



Rietta: “Really? There’s two pictures of me in this update, and one has a car in my face?”

There’ll be more next time. Probably.

Bladder Failure: -1

Repo-Man: -1

Births: +2

Total Points: 0!